09 April 2007

Life, Death, New Life

Easter is the celebration of new life. Plenty of poignant reminders of the cycle of life, death, and new life seem to surround me this year as I reflect on the past few weeks.

Obviously, we look first to the example of what we celebrate on Easter morning, not to mention every Sunday morning that we gather together as church communities around the world. Christ experienced the reality of human death, and He demonstrated the victory over that same death on the third day.

In the midst of celebrating that very victory at church this past Easter Sunday, our congregation rejoiced in seeing and hearing our brother Scott during prayer time. He's the one I mentioned in a previous prayer request. Just under two weeks ago, we were considering the very real possibility that Scott would be going home to be with God. Evidently, God had other things in mind, as Scott was released from the hospital last Thursday. He even surprised us by stopping by at a party held at our house Saturday night. Talk about a great Easter illustration.

This past week also allowed me to reflect on resurrection from a second, contrasting perspective. April 1 was the birthday of my father, who passed away in 2003. Holidays and anniversaries (such as birthdays) are among the times when you miss a loved one the most after they've passed away. Easter also reminds us that we have not only a hope, but a firm conviction that death is not the end of the story for us. Jesus' promise of eternal life reminds me that I will be reunited with my father again someday, as we will both rejoice together in the presence of our Heavenly Father.

And in the midst of all of the talk of mortality, my best friend from childhood is pregnant with her second child while preparing to celebrate the third birthday of her first child (better remember to go shopping this week). Though we are not related by blood, I can't help but feel immense happiness whenever I hear little Jacob call me "Uncle Glenn." The joy of new life abounds.

When I reflect back on Easter 2007, I might have trouble remembering what songs we sang, or what we had for Easter dinner (which was quite delicious, thank you). I will remember that God chose to bless me with amazing lessons that helped bring out the true joy and Grace of the resurrection.

Christ is risen. He is risen indeed.

27 March 2007

Remember Where You're From...

(Taken from this week's church newsletter)

I’ve been at Altadena Baptist for almost 30 years now, but I haven’t been a card-carrying Baptist for my entire life. When my parents immigrated to the States from the Philippines in the late 1960’s, their only church experience was that of the Catholic Church (like all good Filipinos). I was never confirmed in the Church, but I still have strong memories of attending Mass and experiencing the care and compassion of various priests and nuns at some of the Catholic schools I attended in primary school.

It was in 1979 when my father and I were first introduced to Altadena Baptist Church. I remember my dad talking about how it was a major adjustment getting used to an entirely different way of worshiping on a Sunday morning. All he had learned about corporate worship had been shaped by over 40 years of being a Catholic, and it took him quite a while to adjust to what he considered “acceptable” church behavior. The hymns, prayers, and sermon styles at ABC were a far cry from the liturgies and homilies he was used to. (I even have a faint memory of one of our first communion experiences at ABC, with my dad awkwardly holding the cup of juice and having no idea what to do.) However, in the final years of his life, though he wasn’t able to attend our church regularly due to issues of health and transportation, he considered ABC his church home—the place where he felt most comfortable spending time with God on a Sunday morning, and the place where he felt truly accepted by a body of believers, regardless of past mistakes or personal shortcomings.

We talk often about the ethnic and cultural diversity that makes up our congregation at ABC, but we should also remember that the members of our congregation come from a wide range of denominational experiences. We have had Presbyterians and Pentecostals, Anglicans and Foursquares (Foursquarians?), Quakers and non-denominationals among our midst. People representing the three main branches of Christianity—Catholicism, Protestantism, and Orthodoxy—have descended upon our little church and made it their spiritual home of the years. Many of those individuals have selflessly set aside their former practices or ideas about church, the things that have made them feel “comfortable” in the past, in order to become an active part of our diverse community here at ABC. Even those who have been members of this church for several years have experienced a similar journey as our understanding of worship has grown and evolved over the past few decades.

Our rich denominational background continues to guide us in the Worship Department in our examination of how we best express ourselves corporately in worship. Of course, it’s impossible to acknowledge over one hundred different experiences of church life from Sunday to Sunday. But we continually try to be aware of the rich heritage of worship experiences among our church family, as well as listening to how God desires us to demonstrate His love and Gospel to future generations. It continues to be a work in process; something that mirrors the process that God’s Spirit works in each of our lives, always in continual transformation as we seek to live according to His will and His ways.

For our Palm Sunday service this coming Sunday, we will experience worship through a template unfamiliar to some of us—worship through a liturgy. A liturgy is a pre-determined set of readings and prayers found in denominations such as the Episcopal or Catholic church. This liturgy will be accented with other congregational activities that will express the sentiments of Holy Week, and will climax with the Celebration of the Lord’s Supper (done in the traditional “ABC” style). It is an amalgamation of age-old church tradition and contemporary expression. It will be a bit of a stretch for most of us, but will hopefully also be a good exercise of recognizing some of Christianity’s history (with a slightly post-modern spin). Most of all, it will allow us to focus on the solemn reality of the events leading up to Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We invite you to visit with us this Sunday at Altadena Baptist, and we hope you would do so with open minds and open hearts as we thank God for His mercy and the repentance we receive from Him through his Son, Jesus Christ.

12 March 2007

To Tell the Truth (a lesson in Grace, humility, and/or the lack thereof)

I hope seminary doesn't make me into a jerk.

My last post talked about my chance to attend a few different worship services last weekend. Well, the first one I went to was a place where several good friends attend. Before the service started, I was looking through the bulletin/handout, and read a statement that just didn't sound theologically sound--especially after having taken a course regarding the same topic last quarter. When two good friends came up to my wife and me to ask my opinion about the quotes in the flyer, I clearly barked out my disapproval regarding the aforementioned statement. After an awkward silence, one of my friends told me that the person who prepared the bulletin was well meaning, but didn't have the same theological training I was currently getting. I just shrugged my shoulders, and as the band started into the first song, both friends walked back to their seats.

It took my amazingly wise and perceptive wife to call me out later that evening, telling me that what I said wasn't really appropriate.

"But I'm right, aren't I?" I said in defense.

"Probably, but that certainly wasn't the right time or the right way to say what you said," she calmly answered.

I shrugged my shoulders again and tried to focus on the song being played by the band. But it sunk in during the next few minutes... even if I was correct about my observation about the bulletin,I had absolutely no tact or grace in how I spoke to my friends, my sisters in Christ.

Perhaps as God's way of putting an exclamation point on this whole lesson in humility, the person who likely was hurt the most by my words came up to me and actually tried to apologize for reacting badly to my comments. I told her that the only one who needed to apologize was me, and I did so. We even ended up having a great discussion about the topic in question, and any fractures caused by my actions were quickly repaired.

Being at Fuller has been a fantastic experience; my time in this program has exceeded all of my expectations. I often feel that my brain cannot possibly absorb all that I've learned about myself, my God, and the world I hope to minister to in the futre. But instances like last Friday night haven't been unique lately. I feel led to be able to utilize what I'm learning in seminary, but I haven't quite found the balance of how to communicate truth tactfully or lovingly. At least, not all the time. I pray for more and more Grace each day, comforted by the fact that God is willing to give it. The last thing I want to do is become one of the very things that frustrates me about much of modern Western Christianity--one who thinks that dispensing truth means railroading over a person's place in their own journey. Who wants to receive a Message from a self-righteous Messenger?

God, grant us all wisdom and Grace as we share the truth of Your Word and of Your Love. May people see You when they witness our actions and words.

PS... Lord, had I mentioned lately how AWESOME my wife is? Thank You for such a wise and caring partner who isn't afraid to speak honestly (yet compassionately). :-)

In the Same Boat

I had the opportunity to attend two other worship services besides my own this weekend. I spoke to the worship leader at the first church, and the director of media at the second. In both cases, there was dialog about the challenges and graces involved with watching volunteers coming and going over the course of time. Though both churches were extremely different than my own (the first being a small niche service geared towards those in substance recovery, and the second being essentially a megachurch), it was a comfort to hear that all of us in leadership positions deal with many of the same issues regarding getting team members to commit, to be consistent, etc. It was a good feeling to know that someone leading a church of thousands had something common with little ol' me and my itty bitty church on a corner in the foothills.

About five or six years ago, I toyed with the idea of trying to set up a network where local worship leaders could get together to allow time to unpack and process, to be themselves among others who understand the joys and pressures of leading a congregation. I never really got anything going with that (getting married does change your prioritites!), but recent events, along with my time at Fuller these past two years, is bringing the idea to the surface again. Lead pastors often have these kinds of networks, it seems that worship leaders should, too! Hmm, I'll have to let this simmer some more... any ideas out there?

07 March 2007

Chapel Thoughts

This morning, I was part of the worship team for Chapel at Fuller. Here are some quick reflections...

1. For someone like me who serves in a leading capacity every week, it's nice once in a while to step back and be part of the team for a change. It was fun to stand a bit more in the background and just do as you're told. (All the joys of playing with little or none of the responsibility. Gotta love it.)

2. It's also fun to stretch yourself from time to time and get out of your comfort zone. I played bass guitar, which I seldom do but can fake my way through (yay for years of music theory!). It also helps me to appreciate the focus that bass players have. Even though it may be only one note at a time, there's a lot of concentration that goes into that instrument.

3. When playing bass guitar, be sure to know exactly where your cord is, so as not to step on it (and subsequently disconnect said bass guitar) in the middle of an upbeat song. For those of you who have seen me nearly fall off of the stage when directing choir, this is basically the instrumental version of that. I started getting into an upbeat song, and then wondered why the sound from the bass suddenly dropped out...

Just about everyone that was participating in this small group (about 5-6 of us) are or were worship leaders, so there was a nice chemistry going, as well as a very professional atmosphere. I even learned a new term this week that will come in handy for my own rehearsals at church!

These are the kinds of experiences that drew me to enroll at Fuller--opportunities to connect, serve and learn simultaneously. Though I'm quite stressed out this week (last week of the quarter) and overwhelmed with tasks, this morning was a good break from the madness and a chance to bask in the renewal and joy that comes from offering praise to God.

03 March 2007

Quiet Time, the Ironic Psalm, and the Peacock

I'm taking a class this quarter at Fuller which examines the spirituality of Christian author Henri Nouwen. One of the assignments for this class was to engage in an individual half-day spiritual retreat. I decided to take advantage of one of our local botanical wonders: the Los Angeles County Arboretum. (It's a fantastic place, and not JUST because it's the location of the Fantasy Island House.)

One of the surprising lessons I learned from this assignment did not occur during my actual time during the retreat, but the days and hours leading up to it. Although my schedule for this quarter is more open than other quarters, I had the hardest time committing to a particular day to have my retreat. Even when the morning that I had finally chosen had come, I found myself making excuses and creating reasons why I should postpone yet again. When I finally got around to leaving the house to drive to the Arboretum, I spent some time in the car trying to analyze the reason for wanting to continually put this assignment off. I came to the conclusion that it was connected to a general struggle I’ve had for several months, where I have had little discipline in spending quality time alone with God. My personal devotional life and prayer life has been pretty lousy as of late, and I think that part of me was terrified of the idea of an entire morning committed to meditation and prayer!

As I pulled into the parking lot at the Arboretum, I began feeling very convicted and even guilty. It was then that the thought—or more likely, the Spirit—came to me: “Behold, I make all things new.” It seemed to go hand in hand with so much of what I’ve learned about Henri Nouwen this quarter: although fully engaged in ministry, he was also fully aware of his failings and brokenness. I sat in the car for several minutes, praying that God would give me the focus and courage to make the best of this morning, and guilt was soon replaced with hope.

Once I entered the Arboretum, I found a quiet area next to a stream and sat on a bench, where I spent most of the morning. At one point, I decided to open my Bible to a random passage, and found Psalm 106, which told of God’s love towards the Israelites; despite their continual failings and disregard for God, He ultimately continued to listen to their cries for help. (How appropriate!) I then spent time considering the journey God has taken me in the last three or four years in particular, as my ministry at church has grown in responsibility, as well as my time in seminary since the fall of 2005. I also took some pictures of the beautiful scenery around my bench, marveling at God’s creation and spending time in personal worship and praise.

I finished the morning doing some praying for guidance and strength of commitment as I slowly walked the grounds of the Arboretum. As I was finishing my silent prayer, one of the many peacocks that inhabit the area approached me. Just as I walked passed it, I turned to see that it had unfurled its feathers to display its legendary beauty. For me, it was an unexpected parable of how God knows us so well and reveals Himself not only in His time, but also at times when we are best receptive to the particular message He has for us. On this day, I was a better listener to hear about how God forgives and continues to desire to show Himself to us. I thank the peacock for being the means to realize such a great truth about our great God.

Waiting

The following reading is from a emerging movement called Vaux, from the United Kingdom. It's really an Advent reading, but it still sounds good in the middle of March (or anytime, for that matter). I'm hoping they wouldn't have minded my reprinting it here...

WAITING (Vaux, London, 1998)

As Sarah waited…
40 years for a son to fulfill God’s promise
We wait in hope for what we thought had been promised to us

As Moses waited…
40 years in the desert being prepared by God to lead his people
We wait for emptiness and humility; for bravado to wither

As Israel waited…
40 years in the desert, hungry, depressed, thirsting, unsure
We wait for things to move on and generations to pass

As the prophets waited…
1000 years of promises that God would raise up a Savior
We wait for things to change

As Mary waited…
9 months of her 14 years for the child of God
We feel the birth pangs yet fear for the child

As John the Baptist waited…
Scanning the crowds for the one whose sandals he would not be worthy to untie
We long for an experience of the Divine

As Jesus waited…
30 years of creeping time
40 days in the desert of temptation
3 years in the midst of misunderstanding
3 days in the depths of hell

So we wait for God’s time
Preparing the way

Our turn to toil on leveling mountains and straightening paths

Our turn to watch the time horizon

Our turn to pass on the hope—
the one who promised is faithful
and will come back

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(Vaux was an Emerging Church movement of artists and individuals from south London. In 1998, they began meeting together on a monthly basis with the intention of expressing their Christian faith through the use of various media and other artistic expressions. Vaux disbanded in 2005 as its various members went forth to help enrich other faith communities throughout the United Kingdom and the world. For more about Vaux, go to www.vaux.net)